tHoUGhTs & feeLinG..

怎么了? 怎么总是这样呢 ？无奈。。

这一刻的思想好混乱。。不能好好的想任何东西。。

好想找一个很好的方法来停止这一切混乱的思想。。

Well..The picture had been drawn quite clearly,i suppose..

Is it that i choose not to look at it? The answer is simple as ABC..

But why am i overwhelmed by such kind of feelings?

There are a lot of work to be done..i know i should place academic as my priority..but..i’m still a H.U.M.A.N~

Sometimes things doesn’t really work according to what one wishes..

If there is no hope..there will be no sadness? Is this saying true? (=.=)

不懂该如何形容现在的心情。。

是这样的吗？

很模糊。。到底是怎么回事？

是想太多了吗？一场误会？还是只不过是另一个玩笑？

不去想。。不可以想。。不应该想。。不由你想。。？

differences does occur…working on it?

为什么都是样的叻？因为我笨拙。。非常笨拙。。？

何时才会学会聪明一点呢？

答应了别想。。但，还是一直在想。。

到底是怎么了呢？应该怎么办好？

Although it’s exam period, but, my mind tends to wander off easily..

For short semester, there are only three subjects, which is English for Social Science, Statictics For Behavioral Sciences & Moral Studies (which is in Malay)..

Today, the exam started off with the first subject which is English for Social Science. The paper was at 9am. The night before, I went to bed at 1am. Due to the fact that i used to sleep late, I was unable to fall asleep.. (=.=)” Although I closed my eyes & forced myself to rest but it was to no avail..

Therefore, I used the same old method to cause my eyes to be tired in order to get some rest - playing ZUMA on my cellphone. Hmm..it’s kinda awkward though..But that is the only way that i can fall asleep in a very short time.. ^^

The english paper wasn’t that hard but the summary part was quite tricky..What frustrated me most is the reading comprehension part which had taken up most of my time! I shouldn’t have spent too much time on that section. Anyway, overall, the paper was ok.

The coming up paper would be Statistic For Behavioral Sciences on Thursday,13th Dec 07. Seems like there are not much to read..Mostly are calculations..Eg. variance, standard deviation, Z score..etc. Need to remind myself about time management during the exam.. (=.=)

The last paper would be on 19th Dec, Moral Studies..It’s been so long since I have written in Malay. There are quite a number of unfamiliar vocabularies found in the notes. I have to prepare the dictionary on my desk while revising the notes. Besides, it seems like there are many facts to memorize~~

Well..many of my coursemates said that it’s just a LAN subject. There is no need to score very well. A “PASS” will do. But for me,I think that every paper is important. We can’t acquire this type of attitude thinking that we just need a “Pass” and that’s all..I think that this kind of attitude is not what an undergraduate should have.

I am not sure what am i crapping..Just that there are too much things going on in my mind.. (=.=) If i’m asked to describe my current mood with colours, it would be Grey..

I am looking forward for holidays..Although it’s only 2weeks. (=.=) Time to get some rest..in the mean time, also to spend time with family & friends in my hometown~~

我真的不懂。。真的是这样吗？

突然觉得这一切都只是个笑话而已。。

一切都非常虚假 。。不真实。。

一直都只是听别人这么说而已。。不肯定。。

所以就半信半疑。。

俗语说：“食物可以乱吃，话不可以乱说”。。总觉得是非常正确的。。

但为什么大部分的人类们总是不把这句话放在眼里呢人类们总爱胡乱散播是非。。真的是托他们的福！

要不是这些遥言，也不会这样了。。其实也怪不了谁吧。。只能怪自己。。

假如可以从来，我希望可以变得更坚强。。

假如可以从来，  我希望不再为小小的事情落泪。。

假如可以从来，我希望我不再自责。。

假如可以从来，我希望我可以快乐每一天。。

假如可以从来，我希望我根本不存在。。。

有个女孩，她出生于一个温馨的家庭。

从小就得到父母和家人的宠爱。

可能是因为这样，她从小就以为,如果她对别人好，别人也会同样那么对待她。。

但，事实并不是如此啊！你真的以为你对别人好，别人也会对你好哦？

傻孩子～别在活在梦里了～醒一醒吧～

除此之外，她非常重视她每一位朋友。。尤其是当年一起求学的一班好友。。她非常渴望好像从前 那样。。和一群好友一起读书。。逛街。。喝茶。。旅行。。如今，好友们都已各分东西了。。各自在寻求自己的梦想。。

有些时侯，这女孩在想。。她一直很重视的好友们有把她也记在心里吗？他们也一样把她当着是>吗？

这女孩很敏感。。她不能被过分戏弄。。也不知道是什么原因。。她也非常小气。。要使她生气，易如反掌。。她就是不能忍受别人故意说她坏话。。故意戏弄她。。

还有。。她非常讨厌别>!! 她觉得她如果没有做过的事情，是没有必要 “吃死猫” 的。。这就是她做人的原则。。

近来，她和一群好久没聚在一起的朋友出去玩。。虽然。。从以前到现在她都常遭戏弄，但，她懂是他们是没恶意的。。只是贪玩而已。。朋友之间就是应该互相包容，不是吗？

她承认她有缺点。。但这世界上并没有十全十美的人。有时侯就算是多么的不爽，也请顾虑别人的感受。。

她真的有蛮多缺点。。比如，她吃东西很慢。。差不多每次都是最后一个吃完。。她都很不好意思。。但，有否想过，她也不想吃那么慢的呢？她已尝试把速度加快了。。但，还是如此。。

比方说，一个失明人士会希望自己永远失明吗？难道连包容她这缺点也那么难？假如是如此，她以后知道该怎么做了。。

这女孩只是觉得很无奈。。到底真心的朋友有几个呢？她真的不知道。。也不敢去想。。。

*Some addtional messages for the previous post.

*Hmm..Well, I’m not a pessimistic person.The previous post is just my feeling on that particular moment when i wrote it.I do believe that there are people called “friends” out there. =)  Well, I guess sometimes I like “labelling” things or an attitude according to my principles of life and my norms..If things or attitudes that is out of my norms, I will tend to prevent it from happening..And sometimes, it is to a certain extend that I would expect people to react or behave according to my norms & principles.

Well, I realised that it is impossible to control or have expectation towards something or someone.It’s an act I considered naive.I’m glad I realise about this now & not later.This indeed assist me to improve myself and start re-organising my perception and my view about the world.

ExaM..ExAms..ExamSS…

It’s the exam season again..well..supposedly I have plenty of time to study..

But, I’m progressing like a “tortoise”…I didn’t know what went wrong..sigh..

The first subject to be tested would be on “Theories of Personality”..As i read the chapters, I found out that many researcher are interested on human’s personality..The word “Personality” stems from “persona”,a latin word meaning “mask”.

As to my understanding, personality refers to permanent traits & unique characteristic that are shown by an individual or a person’s character. (well, feel free to correct me if i’m wrong ^.^)

I kind of like this subject because I’m interested in why people behave differently & uniquely.

Time to continue my  revision..

To all my friends sitting for exams,

~*~*~* aLL tHe BeSt fOR fiNals ya *~*~*~

~*~*~*~*~* GamBate..Jia YoU *~*~*~*~*~*

cheers,

jEssiCa ^.^

It’s 3 in the morning..suppose to be doing revision because final’s is in 1 week’s time..But, was distracted by my laptop cuz the internet connection is connected..This leads me to start spending much of my time on friendster..again.. (=.=)

Suddenly thought of writing this blog..my 1st blog for my new account…so sad…my previous account is not gone yet..but i can’t sign-in!!Anyway..have to get over it…

Hmm…So many things had happened recently..And all this big & small events..All these made me pondered…for a while…

I thought to myself..Eventually, “WHO FRIENDS REALLY ARE ???” “WHO ARE OUR FRIENDS ??” “DEFINE THE TERM .” “ARE FRIENDS IMPORTANT?”

Well, I’m not going to answer all of the questions above because i do need guidance to these questions..Besides, the answers may varies due to different perspective on the term .

There had been lots of people walking in and out of my life since birth…Those i cherish the most–> MY FAMILY!! Secondly, FRIENDS…(for now…) I do believe everyone in this world have friends..Everywhere you go, people will talk about friends..Some are even proud to let the whole world know who their friends are..

So, Are Friends Important? To me, they are..this is because i’m indeed not a very independent person..or should i say i’m afraid to be alone..That’s a weakness.. =( I usually don’t like to do things alone..I like to travel in groups..I enjoy to be in a group..A group where I belong to..My comfort zone.. =)

To be truthful, since I went to uni,I started searching for a new “comfort zone” where i can be comfortable in..That doesn’t mean that I will forget about my previous group of FRiENDS..I missed those days so much…and We CRieD..together..cuz everyone of us are going separate ways to pursue our own dreams.. =”( although it’s just a short period of approximately 2 years, there’s  been lots of memorable events & bits & pieces we have gone through TOGETHER..it’s the friendship bond that holds us together..

Well, what’s a friendship bond? For me, a friendship bond is built when friends really care for each other..What is the meaning of caring for each other? Care is an abstract word..You can’t really visualize the word “Care” because there is no specific visual images for abstract words.

According to Rollo May,1969, “Care is a state in which something does matter”. Besides, he also states that “To care for someone means to recognize that person as a fellow human being, to identify wit that person’s pain,joy, guilt or pity.”

*Rollo May was the foremost spokeperson for existential psychology in US for nearly 50 yrs. He was a theorist and focuses on his  approach on Existential Psychology.

When you care for someone,it simply means that you would like to share the joy, sorrow, pain, bitterness & every other thing the person is going through…And we usually have a saying that goes “That’s what friends are for!” I feel that this sentence is so warmth when you realise that there are really friends out there that cares for you..And they are also the one you cared for..

Sometimes, I do agree that life is full of obstacles..When I was younger,I always think that obstacles are problems & i hate problems.I used to like to be a ‘care-free’ person..Had simple thinking..erhm..can also say that i hardly think deeply into something..err..hehe..

As time passes by, I started to ‘like’ obstacles that i met with..Why? Simple! Because I learnt & gain alot during the process of overcoming an obstacle.Well, I learnt to take good care of myself..I learnt not to blindly trust other’s promises..(this is because i take promises  SERIOUSLY..all kinds of promises)..& the most important thing is that past experiences makes me a stronger person..And I’m indeed thankful that “He” is always there when i’m feeling down & upset.

I really can’t imagine what will I become or how my life would be if I have not accepted Christ..Well..it’s really a blessing for me to have such great neighbour that i met 8 years ago..It’s really GOD’s blessing.. =)

Kinda tired..it’s 4.30 in the morning…there still a lot i wanna write but i think my eyes do not allow me to..Hmm..will just talk a little bit more..”Will you be angry at others if you do not even care for them?” I will only be offended by people close to me..people I regard as FRIENDS..I just want to say that i’m indeed disappointed.. =(